Inventors: Charles G. Shepard & Peter Adams Jr.
Patent number: 255090
Filing date: Feb 4, 1882
Issue date: Mar 1882

A haunting patent from 1882. This design for a money box that eats your coins actually went on to be produced and marketed as child’s toy ‘Greedy Nigger Boy’. Although the unique part of the patent is the lever operating the hand, making it seem as if the figure is eating each coin, the illustration still depicts racial stereotypes with crudely exaggerated features. Shepard & Adams are the real greedy boys here, happy to make money by maintaing racist ideologies.

Inventor: Donald L. Allewalt
Patent number: 5619750
Filing date: Dec 4, 1995
Issue date: Apr 15, 1997

The killer awoke before dawn, he put his boots on. He took a face from the ancient gallery and he walked on down the hall… This patent claims to be for an eyes-ears-nose protector includes eye-glasses with attached nose protector to protect simultaneously the nose, eyes, and ears from direct and side excessive sunlight. But the model looks more like an unstoppable cyborg assassin who has been sent back from the future by a collective of artificially intelligent computer-controlled machines bent on the extermination of the human race! Don’t cha’ think?

Inventor: Anson Mills
Patent number: 193342
Filing date: Jul 10, 1877
Issue date: Jul 1877

I got spurs that jingle, jangle, jingle. This handsome illustration comes from the wild west and is for a patent by lieutenant colonel Anson Mills of the United States Army. Spurs are worn by cowboys to control horses. The rowels are used to dig into the sides of the horse to aid in steering the steed in conjunction with the tack and reins. Generally spurs have rowels that are round and blunt by design, however the more fancy custom made spurs which feature pointed star rowels can hurt the horse.

Inventor: Charles Miller
Patent number: 258243
Filing date: Jan 10, 1882
Issue date: May 23, 1882

Mamma Mia! That’s a spicy meatball… Mustache Guard patents are always fun and popular here at the desk. They seem like quaint relics from a bygone era when men took care of grooming with great pride… …and when you’ve spent the time this gentleman has working on your facial hair the last thing you want is to get Minestrone soup on your lip tickler!

Previous mustache post: Mustache Guard

Inventors: Giorgetto Giugiaro / John Z. DeLorean
Assignee: Delorean Motor Company
Patent number: D283882 / 4378658
Filing date: Jun 12, 1981 / Feb 4, 1981
Issue date: May 20, 1986 / Apr 5, 1983

Roads? Where we’re going, we don’t need roads! Stainless steel, gull-wing doors, grey hair, drug trafficking, 88 mph… All the stuff of legend. John Z. DeLorean was a fascinating but ultimately flawed man. He said he had more than 200 patents including designs for tennis rackets and monorails. Every car built in the world today contains at least one of his creations. Brash and charismatic he left behind a successful career with General Motors to form his own DeLorean Motor Company (DMC) in 1974. The company would only produce one car before collapsing, however the DMC-12 was an instant classic and it’s influence would ripple throughout history.

Designed by Italdesign’s Giorgetto Giugiaro. The car entered into production as the DMC-12, but is generally known as the DeLorean. A stainless steel body, gull-wing doors. and the “Douvrin” V6 engine set it apart. The manufacturing plant to build the new car was built in Dunmurry, Northern Ireland, with substantial financial incentives from the Northern Ireland Development Agency of around £100 million. A great boost to a troubled Northern Ireland, the factory employed over 2000 workers from early 1981, but by February 1982 the company was in receivership. It turned out around 9,000 cars over 21 months before the British government ordered its closure in November 1982.

From the mid 80’s onward things got messy for DeLorean becoming involved in a bizarre cocaine bust that involved the FBI and Larry Flynt. DeLorean successfully defended himself with a procedural defense, arguing that the police had asked him to supply the money to buy the cocaine. His attorney stated in Time, “This was a fictitious crime. Without the government, there would be no crime.” The DeLorean defense team did not call any witnesses. DeLorean was found not guilty due to entrapment on August 16, 1984. The car is of course fondly remembered today as the Time Machine from Back To The Future.

Inventor: Frederick W. Nagel, Jr.
Patent number: 4473945
Filing date: Jul 23, 1982
Issue date: Oct 2, 1984

Darlin’ don’t you go and cut your hair. The suck and cut is a revolution in home hair cutting. Clean, efficient and relatively safe. You just sit there and put it on your melon while it sucks as it cuts. It certainly does suck!

Inventor: Walter Frederick Morrison
Patent number: D183626
Filing date: Jul 22, 1957
Issue date: Sep 1958

Everybody knows that Marty McFly invented the Frisbee back in 1885 when he threw his Frisbie’s pie tin at Mad Dog Tannen to save Doc Brown during the Hill Valley town celebration. However it wasn’t until the Space Age that Frisbees caught on as a recreational toy. Walter Frederick Morrison (January 23, 1920 – February 9, 2010) got the idea from playing with a metal cake pan on the beach in California. He originally called his toy the Pluto Platter and sold it at local fairs. In 1957 Morrison sold the rights to the California firm Wham-O, which renamed the disk after discovering East Coast college students were were calling the toy a “Frisbie” after the name of a well-known pie.

Inventor: William J. Westerman
Patent number: 4089542
Filing date: Aug 16, 1976
Issue date: May 16, 1978

It’s a romantic life but sometimes you feel like one of those clipper ship captains; married to the sea. You’ve been out for a long time. Days of horizons, stormy weather and horse masks begin to take their toll and you start thinking of dry land again. Not even your fisherman’s ‘Swiss Army Knife’ can cheer you up with it’s light, magnifying glass and clock. It’s time to come back ashore.

Inventor: William J. Westerman
Patent number: 4089542
Filing date: Aug 16, 1976
Issue date: May 16, 1978

Check it out. This is like something out of Magnum P.I. Season 1. What colour do you think would look good? Salmon pink? Pastel green? Neon blue? Makes me want to become a private deceive and travel around solving crimes in my fold up car. Then back to the truck for more adventure!

Inventor: Irma J. Luque
Patent number: 4974761
Filing date: May 10, 1989
Issue date: Dec 4, 1990

When it comes to gambling it takes dedication, commitment and total concentration. You don’t need anything getting in the way of your big break. You chomp on your cigar and skillfully pump quarters into the one armed bandit, you’re a winner! That’s where the slot bag comes in. Pop your coin cup in there and work away. As video arcade magnate Noah Vanderhoff said “kids know dick. I watch ‘em in my arcades. They stand like laboratory rats hitting the feeder bar to get a food pellet. But as long as they keep pumping in the quarters, who gives a shit, right?”