Inventor: O. Alan Breazeale
Patent number: 6854374
Filing date: Aug 12, 2003
Issue date: Feb 15, 2005

Watch out! He’s got a bandana and long hair! …and what’s he casually lobbing? Probably one of those Yippies. Well, no time to find out… …better use the Explosion Containment Net, safe than sorry and all that. If the authorities are going to target protestors for exercising their rights, this method is better than The National Guards firing 67 rounds over a period of 13 seconds, killing four students and wounding nine others.

Inventor: Eli J. Randolph
Patent number: 123839
Issue date: Feb 20, 1872

Those guards are always improving… …and while nobody wants a sticky stache, it’s part and parcel of looking cool and eating spaghetti… I mean this guy gets away with having a guard because it matches his armless glasses. But the rest of us just have to wipe our moustaches with our hands. It’s serious!

Inventors: Renee Resler, Gary W. Hall
Patent number: 7314278
Filing date: Nov 2, 2006
Issue date: Jan 1, 2008

Yeah, that’s a snug fit… …and you’ve got velcro ‘round the back for easy grip. No more worries about the sun damaging your children’s eyes. You can send the children out to bask in the sun and not worry about their little peepers… …the only drawback is they’ll look like Jim Carrey’s Riddler in Batman Begins.

Inventor: James Jordon Thompson
Patent number: D479485
Filing date: Sep 29, 2001
Issue date: Sep 9, 2003

Christ beside me, Christ before me, Christ on my banner… The dove and olive branch are classic symbols of peace. Both the Torah and the Old Testament describe a dove released by Noah after the Great Flood in order to find land. The dove came back carrying an olive branch in its beak, a sign that the floods were over. Hallelujah! Wonder where you’re going to display yours… In your station wagon? In your recreation center? Hang it from your window?

Inventor: Mary M. O’Brien  
Patent number: 4734944
Filing date: Jul 28, 1986
Issue date: Apr 5, 1988

It’s hot out there but you’re cooling off in your portable suntanning pool. Got your shades on and a beverage. Your skin looks a hundred years old, your hair is bleached and your in a crabby mood all the time from starving yourself… …but hey, you’re worth it!

Inventor: Jason A. Barba  
Application number: 10/256,143
Publication Number:US 2004/0062836 A1
Filing date: Sep 27, 2002

Wildcat! This is a strange concept for candy, but your kids are going to love it. An anatomically correct candy novelty made of an exterior layer of confectionery material that represents the skin and flesh of an anatomically correct human body part, and an interior layer of hard candy material that represents the skeleton of the same anatomically correct human body part. So chomp away on flesh and bone, gobbling ears and slurping down eyes. We’re living in a time when most of our processed food bares little or no resemblance to it’s nature. If meet looks like plastic, candy might as well look like flesh.

Inventor: George V. Rael 
Patent number: 5357633
Filing date: Feb 25, 1993
Issue date: Oct 25, 1994

Hair - Check. Cheekbones - Check. Truckers Tan - Check… It’s tough when you got a job to do in this hot weather. Driver’s arm is almost unavoidable without keeping sun cream on your door arm. It’s hot out there, but don’t worry tough guy, just slide into this arm sling and hang your hand right out the window. It’s even got a handy thumb hole. Keep on truckin’.

Inventor: Paul A. Sperry 
Patent number:  2206860 
Filing date:  Nov 30, 1937 
Issue date: Jul 9, 1940

This summer sees a million John F. Kennedy Juniors sporting decks and polos… …but the story behind the original Sperry Top-Sider is the stuff of legend, the sole was originally carved with a penknife by Paul Sperry after watching his cocker spaniel run across the ice without slipping one winter’s day in Connecticut. Flipping over Prince’s paw he noticed the hundreds of tiny wave like cracks and cuts going in all directions. Prince’s paws became the inspiration for Sperry’s patent, called Razor-Siping (an implementation of a process of splitting a shoe sole invented and patented in the 1920s by John Sipe). Sperry asked the President of Converse Rubber Company if he would make the shoe, his reply “I will make any damn thing that I can make a profit on”… Converse blanked out the soles, shipped them to Sperry and he cut the non-skid designs himself with Abercrombie & Finch eventually getting exclusive rights for distribution in New York City. Sperry’s shoe quickly became popular with boaters not only for its non-slip sole but also for its white color, which prevented the shoe from leaving marks on a boat’s deck. Before the Top-Sider boaters risked injury while walking on the slippery decks, now they could practically dance from bow to stern. The shoe remained a niche product until 1939 when the U.S. Navy negotiated the right to manufacture the shoe for its sailors. As a result of the Navy contract, Sperry’s business was purchased by the U.S. Rubber Co. (who sperry had originally approached to manufacture the shoe), which then marketed the shoe across the country.

Previous shoe post: Reversible Heel For Shoes (Vans)

Inventor: Dwight L. Myers
Assignee: Water-Boggan, Inc.
Patent number: 3923301
Filing date: Sep 19, 1974
Issue date: Dec 2, 1975

Summer’s here kids and it’s time to dust off the board shorts and head to the local waterpark… These stunning illustrations from 1974 describe a method of using the natural contours and topography of hilly land bordering a body of water to carve a waterside trench. The slide zig-zags through the beautiful landscape past trees and rocks down to a  landing pool at the bottom of the slideway to provide safe deacceleration for successive riders…

The Golden Age of Summer where nature and man intertwine in a beautiful dance… Legend has it that my local waterpark ‘The Rainbow Rapids’ Dun Laoghaire were shut down after a kid wearing a ring lost a finger in the tube…

Inventor: Claudia Durham / Jeffrey E. Hopkins
Patent number: 4572501
Filing date:  Jul 1, 1983
Issue date: Feb 25, 1986

Such long legs… There’s many, many patents for wheelchair accessories such as this exercise device. Wheelchair exercise is very important for helping increase strength, flexibility, muscle-tone as well as self-esteem (see Joe Swanson). Exercise also prevents DVT (deep vein thrombosis) and other poor health outcomes.